Confidence is a difficult concept to grasp. We can look it up in the dictionary and get something like “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or reliance on one’s circumstances” from Merriam-Webster. This is simply one of many theoretical definitions, but when we try to explain it on a personal level, other factors complicate the situation.

Our definitions of confidence are distorted by our hearts, minds, souls, and bodies. In reality, each component will most likely have a distinct meaning and will guide our personal and professional journeys.

I am an introverted person most of the time, and when I have to speak out professionally, I can go from A to Z with pauses for questions and discussions without missing a beat, but when I am in a group of people socially, it takes me a while to chat away, especially if the conversations are low key and cover a wide range of topics.

Don’t get me wrong: I will participate in conversations when I have anything to say or even ask questions, but I will not be at the forefront of them. This is where understanding confidence may assist all of us in becoming strong, confident women.

Understanding confidence

To comprehend confidence, we must first recognize that it is about what is deep within us. It is more than a band-aid that we use to cover up our uncertainties and hurts. It is an attitude that we must adopt, accept, and continue to grow because situations may come that shake our confidence.

You may be more confident in one area of your life while lacking confidence in others. People who look at you may believe you’re wishy-washy or stuck-up, not comprehending that your circumstances cause you to demonstrate varying amounts of confidence.

To gain a better understanding of confidence, consider the following factors:

Your Self-esteem levels: Crucial for developing confidence

What do you think of yourself as a woman?  Who would you see if you looked at yourself in the mirror? Do you notice somebody who needs to improve? Has he made a lot of mistakes? Is there something missing? Do you even bother looking in the mirror?

You should each take a moment to gaze in the mirror at least once a day, preferably first thing in the morning, and say something encouraging to yourself. You can even stick a list of affirmations like this one on your bathroom mirror. Another thing you may do is place words of affirmation in places where you spend the most time, such as your desk, car, or even on the fridge.

Why wait for someone else to encourage you when you can cheer yourself up, sans ice cream or chocolate, and be the one to encourage others?

A positive outlook at the start of your day boosts your confidence like nothing else. The goal then is to maintain that happy attitude throughout the day.

Have you ever observed that the more negative thoughts and sensations you allow to remain in your heart and mind, the quicker and faster your confidence will crumble?

This is not to imply that if you are positive, you will be confident, and if you are negative, you will not be confident; however, it is simpler to maintain, strengthen, and even raise your confidence when you look on the bright side of things.

Use confidence to drive personal and professional growth

As I previously stated, being an introvert, I tend to speak more when I have something specific to say.  I wasn’t always this way. In reality, I never really spoke until I was spoken to in my younger days, and I won’t specify how many years ago just in case my kid sees this (my age is a secret from him).

I was the quiet bashful girl hiding in the back, keeping her thoughts to herself and avoiding being recognized.  You’d think that such a girl would be overlooked, but nope. I found myself unexpectedly in charge of our church’s little youth group, not because I was the eldest, and I couldn’t say no.

Being put in this position forced me to speak up and initiate discussions, so I made sure I mastered the lessons, which was not difficult because the other kids were all pleasant.  It was simpler to be the center of attention since it seemed like I was talking to friends. I’m sure there are many other women in similar circumstances.

What about persons who you don’t have time to get to know? When it came to making presentations for classrooms and school functions, the youth group leader assisted me. That experience as a young leader gave  me the confidence to recognize that I can express things that people want to hear – things that are worthwhile for them to hear.

If you find yourself confident in one ability, habit, or talent, you can learn how to channel that confidence into other areas.

For example, if you enjoy baking but hesitate when asked to prepare for work events because your family usually devours everything you make, channel that confidence into baking for work.  If you enjoy writing emails, presentations, contracts, and other work-related documents and have always wanted to publish a book but have been afraid, channel that confidence or intent into your personal writing.

What I’m urging you to do is take your confidence from one area of your life and apply it to another. We must each recognize our worth and use it to instill confidence in all aspects of our lives.

Confidence is something we cultivate, and we must be deliberate about it.  We must also be at ease with who we see in the mirror, who we are with family and friends, and who we are professionally.

It is only when we understand who we are and what values shape us that we may be comfortable and confident in any situation.  To help you get started on your confidence-building path, here is a workbook that will help you express everything you believe you are.